ok that makes sense i thought for a second you were really gonna shock me

but i dont give a damn about what you do for your weird web posse thanks seeing the aftermath is jarring enough

yeah i would say the dressy shit suits me better but w/e

I posted a pic of me back when I was skinny a while ago. Brings back memories. 

Heh. You wanna get matching suits, dude? Sounds pretty gay, if you ask me. 

wow fuck you dude

i guess you are getting to old to act like a bro 


I just can’t get over 2005 Fergie


what do you even focus on


Haha. I’ve got too much time on my hands to only have one job. My third one is DJing. I don’t do it much, but it still counts. Also the porn job has 3 parts to it. But that’s not really important. 

I see. Maybe I will wear a suit more often. 

ok that makes sense i thought for a second you were really gonna shock me

but i dont give a damn about what you do for your weird web posse thanks seeing the aftermath is jarring enough

yeah i would say the dressy shit suits me better but w/e


I may have told you the worst of my three (3) jobs because I wanted to gross you out. My main job is actually robotics engineering? So it was a business meeting for related topics. Related topics being giving me money and more projects which will later lead to more money. 

youre an asshole wow

here i thought you were scraping the bottom of the barrel for opportunities and had little choice but to settle on some weird niche that you ended up being grossly in to


so thats two (i can fucking read) jobs what else are you doing



why are you dressed like that

I had a business meeting.

a business meeting

you told me that you fucking make a glutton of yourself on camera for cash

the hell does a suit and tie have to do with your fetish porn

tubbytestified replied to your post: hey bro


why are you dressed like that

hey bro


> Dirk works on the beer first, drinking it down as quickly as possible before starting work on the cake. He is incredibly pleased with the cake. It is evident in how loudly he moans, and how his thighs press together slightly as he licks the fork clean. 

Heh. I’m glad to be around again, y’know? That shit hurt. 

> Dirk didn’t want to say anything about how the scar that he’d received on his chest wasn’t really from Dave. It was the spot his own sword had impaled him on. He just tried not to think about his death too much, and made a more acceptable cover story. 

Yeah, man. The bars looked at me funny when I asked for more than one martini. Like uh, what, you expect me to get shitfaced on that tiny fucking glass of booze. Like, I’m a big guy. And I’m an alcoholic. I need WAY more booze than that to be even a little tipsy. 

-Dave was a little surprised at how the other started downing his beer, wondering if he was just thirsty or particularly in need of being inebriated for this visit. still, he averts his eyes and similarly gets comfortable in his seat, sitting with his legs crossed.-

no i mean they are pussies in that most of them are still like really spooked by trolls and other human people

well trolls i get i guess but i think xenus are all fragile and shit in comparison
like biologically

mostly i was asking if you have bothered looking into meeting any dudes

friends or otherwise


Yeah, that was like, your favorite sneaker. It lit up and shit. Man that sneaker was tight. The sneakers you have on right now are tight. So are mine. Mine are better. No offence. 

What what, wait what. I would look goofy on a bike. Put me in some leathers and I look like every other goddamn biker out there. Not that I would ever get on a motorcycle again after that one time. Mmm. But I wouldn’t look goofy. Just gotta get me on the right hog. 

> Dirk laughs and tries not to cry about everything, opening up the car and letting the other in. He does look a little funny in it, because his head is nearly at the roof, but it doesn’t look too goofy. When they arrive, he follows Dave up, rather impressed even before he sees the inside of his apartment.

Not bad, li’le man. Not bad. Could use more shitty swords, but other than that. 

> Dirk walks over to the couch, and makes himself at home on it, removing his hat and tossing it onto the coffee table before putting his feet up on it. 

Chocolate. Something with chocolate. And booze. Don’t harp on me about it. 

-Dave didn’t care to bicker with Bro but they still chatted and teased each other as he drove, and he let himself give a smirk at the older’s comment about his home.-

fuck that i would rather not be impaled trying to get to something in the fridge thanks

i still dont get why you stockpiled them like that i mean you hoard the weirdest shit

-He shuffles off his shoes and coat while the other gets comfortable, amused by how quickly Bro settled in. It doesn’t take but a minute after he detours to the kitchen before Dave hands a beer bottle and a plate with a thick slice of chocolate cake to the other man and sits in a chair near him, being as discrete as possible as he looks over the bigger man and how his heavy gut rests on his thighs a bit.-

so like i know i was pissed and i still am a little bit but im really glad that youre around again
aside from making a pig of yourself what have you been doing though

its not like you can make a quick drinking buddy at the bar any more at least not easily

these xenunites or what the fuck ever are kind of pussies


Heh. Yeah, you’ve really grown. I remember when you barely reached my knees, dude. You were so tiny. What happened? Now you’re all like. A hot grown ass adult and I don’t got any little bastard to put in a headlock until he does his homework so we can go to Chuck E. Cheese’s. Man, I hated Chuck E. Cheese’s. Pizza was terrible. Toys were cheaply made. Don’t know why you liked the place so much. 

> Dirk removes his hat and rubs at his hair, sighing heavily as he thinks back on the time past. He sniffles again, and wipes his nose with the back of his hand. 

Heh, yeah, it’s roomier inside, that’s all I can say. Remember when I rode a motorcycle? I think the VeeDub suits me better. I can give you a ride, if you like. Depends on how good you give directions. 

hey man dont start that
i dont want to make a fool of myself again and start watering up

anyway i bet that you liked a bunch of dumb shit as a kid
i mean i thought the playplace stuff was cool before i lost one of my sneakers in it

-Dave frowns a little and his brown face tinges obvious red at the weird praise and criticism, shaking his head. He gestures finally at the car.-

you would look goofy as fuck on a bike now

let me in so we can head over to my flat already im sick of yacking on about this sentimental crap

-It wouldn’t be but another twenty minutes before they were parked in the garage and Dave lead his older brother to the elevator, his studio apartment at the very top and covered the whole floor.-